Most Funniest Sign Boards

Did I read that sign right?
Toilet Out OF Order. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: Please REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEPS LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE
BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE
DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

Outside a secondhand shop:
We EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1st FLOOR.

Funny Definitions

Marriage:
It's an agreement where in a man loses his bachelor degree and
A women gains her master.








Divorce:
Future Tense of Marriage.








Lecture:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing through the minds of either.









Conference:
The Confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

World's Best Romantic Rhyming Two Liners...Hilarious ! ! !

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why i always wake up screaming.

Kind, Intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are NOT.

I thought that i could love no other...
that is until i met your brother.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes....
Damn, I m good at telling lies !

My love, you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in to smells this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to Hell".

Pregnancy jokes

Q: Should I have a Baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I' m two months pregnant now.when will my baby move?
A:With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q:What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A:ChildBirth

Q:My wife is five months pregnant and and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A:So what's your question?

Q:My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A:Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q:When is the best time to get an epidural?
A:Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q:Is there any reason i have to be in the delivery room when my wife is in labor?
A:Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q:Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A:Yes, pregnancy.

Q:Do i have to have a baby shower?
A:Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q:Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to act normal again?
A:When the kids are in college.

Highest selling pen stand in IRAQ